Underachiever Blues

No Impact Man

2010-04-17T20:36:00.003-04:00

I just watched No Impact Man, the documentary of the project of Colin Beavey and his family to live in NYC with no environmental impact for a period of one year. I will say right up front that I loved the documentary. There were a few things about the story that really spoke to me, and I will address those in turn. The real impact on me, though was this: the film was inspirational to me. The Beavey family go into this year-long journey as a project for a book, and a bit of a curiosity...but they come out of it more educated people, and a more compassionate family. In the end, Colin is turned toward a strong belief in individual action as the unit of change in the world, and Michelle, Colin's wife, makes an amazing transformation from a skeptical TV and caffeine-addicted, consumer-culture maven to an incredibly open-minded and refreshingly honest woman who becomes so proud of the project she was reluctant to endure in the beginning. Throughout the film, the couple's daughter Isabella is adorable.

So, first, the basics: when they say "no impact" they literally mean "no impact". They strive to live without producing any garbage (which means no take-out containers or packaging of any kind, no disposable diapers or napkins or toilet paper), without using any form of motor transportation, without using harmful cleaning products such as laundry detergent that have an impact on the environment. Recognizing the importance of meat-eating in environmental degradation, they also elect to become vegetarian for the year. They eat only locally grown (within 250 miles) produce and they obtain dairy from a local farm, which they visit during the course of the documentary. Halfway through the experiment they turn off the electricity in their apartment, living in candlelight and experimenting with alternative refrigeration systems.

On the face of it, the documentary is a story about environmentalism - about a family's quest to see how far they can go to leave the world better than (or at least not worse than) they found it. But to me, it was also a story about the power of individual action, about optimism, idealism, and community - the beauty of truly connecting with other people and with the world. There is a point where Colin visits a community garden in order to start growing vegetables, but he finds that all the spots are filled and the waiting-list is years long, so he finds the one person in this garden who grows vegetables (the rest grow flowers) and begins a sort of apprenticeship under this man, an ex-hippie who becomes a character of his own throughout the story. Toward the end of the documentary Colin goes and speaks to children and college students about his project, and the message he gives is one of optimism and hope - it's truly an inspiration.

The message of hope is especially remarkable given the context in which the family is able to hold onto it. About 5 months into the project they start getting a lot of media attention, and Colin goes on a number of radio & TV shows to talk about it. Colin also has kept a blog throughout. At the point where the media attention commences, they start getting an angry backlash. People say that there's no point in this project, he's only doing it for the money (there's a book deal involved) and the publicity, and that it's pointless because although he claims to be exploring what people can do to reduce their impact, he acknowledges that no one is going to go quite this far (abandoning electricity and toilet paper) in an effort to be environmentally-friendly. They are accused of being out-of-touch with reality and bourgeois. They even receive some hateful messages on the blog. This is very difficult on Michelle especially, who is already struggling with having given up caffeine (no coffee is grown locally) and who went along with the project for Colin's benefit in the first place.

Now, I'll interject to point out that this family did what many families (probably most families) do not have an option to do. Colin is a successful writer and Michelle writes for Business Week, and they are clearly doing well, with a beautiful (if tiny) NYC apartment and lots and lots of designer clothes (bought pre-No Impact Man) for Michelle. Before they begin the "no-consuming" piece of the adventure, Michelle goes on a sort of shopping binge and purchases a pair of boots for $975. Obviously, these people are doing okay, financially. Which means that they can afford things like farmer's markets and locally-organically-grown food and the like. They also have the freedom and flexibility in their lives to embark upon a project like this one - something most families do not have. So they get a lot of backlash for this. I will not argue that their project is doable for the masses, but neither do they. Colin says a number of times that this is an exploration. They are using this year to determine, what's good, what's bad? What can they live without after the year is over, what will they continue with? What can the average American do?

By the end, the lights are turned back on and although it seems as though Colin could have lived happily ever after as No Impact Man, Michelle has a few things in mind to return to a semblance of normal life. As I said before, Michelle's transformation within the space of this movie is incredible, but she is a real person and is very honest about what she's no longer willing to do without. In the end she says she wants to stay vegetarian with the exception of a hot dog every now and then, she wants to continue riding the bike to get around, and she wants to keep the TV (to which she was formerly addicted) out of her home, but maintains that she will watch it on vacation. She does, however, draw the line at the "worm box" (the composting bin that has attracted flies to the kitchen).

During this year, the family doesn't just give up things in the service of environmentalism - they gain some more important things that they weren't even expecting. Michelle points out that since they no longer have TV or air-conditioning they are forced outside of their home all of the time to do things. The TV and the air-conditioning were the things that were keeping them inside almost all of the time. Now they are going around NYC and playing in fountains and riding bikes and doing active things together that actually strengthen their bonds with each other and the community. Colin points out that no one told him at the beginning that this project would mean that he would lose weight without ever visiting a gym and that as a result of the change in diet, Michelle's pre-diabetic condition would be reversed, but these are the "extras" that have happened and these things become more important in the long run.

I just have to reiterate that I loved the message of this film. I was already an environmentalist and I was already interested in positive action for change on the part of individuals and groups, and I was already interested in the value of community. So this documentary did not change my outlook - but it reaffirmed my decision to be an idealist in a world where idealism often not valued, and is in fact mocked, mistaken for naiveté. I love having the proof that other people are out there doing what they can to make a difference. It is these little changes, all put together that will change the world. No one has to live like the Beaveys did for that year - I would never choose that for myself. But all of us choosing to care a little more about other people, about the world around us...doing little things every day...these things truly do add up and they do matter.

The Twilight Series: Bella, the Anti-Feminist

2010-03-13T09:46:00.002-05:00

Over the last several months, like many people, I have heard numerous things about a series by Stephanie Meyers called Twilight. I mostly didn't pay any attention to it, because from what I could discern without actually reading the books or watching the movie, it seemed like a vampire romance for the tween/teen set. And, well, that's true. It is a vampire romance for tweens and teens.

But recently, several people (I literally mean at least 4 adults, including my own mother) have told me how much they enjoyed reading the series. I heard in turns that it was a good afternoon read, a cute romance, an easy, fun story. So...when I got a kindle 2 for Christmas last year and saw the kindle editions of the books were available for around 4$ a piece, I decided to give it a try.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

For those of you not familiar with the story, here's a quick synopsis of the plot: Bella, a high-school girl from Phoenix moves to Forks, a small town in Washington, to live with her Dad when her Mom decides to remarry. Bella quickly falls in love with Edward, a brooding, dramatic sort of fellow who at first glares at Bella and then is consumed with her. (And I do mean consumed in a very unhealthy sort of way.) Edward is mysterious because he and his entire family are incredibly beautiful people, as well as filthy rich, and they never come to school on those rare sunny days in the Northwest. Of course, we soon learn that's because they are a coven of vampires. Oh, they're nice vampires - the kind that hunt for animals rather than eat people, but vampires all the same.

So at this point it sounds like a fun and harmless sort of young romance, right? Well, I have to say I that I am strangely angry at this series because it is a good story and I generally find myself eager to find out what will happen next. But, and this is a huge but for me...Bella is the poorest excuse for a heroine and Edward the poorest excuse for a man in love with a woman I've ever read about! Let me explain. One of the major defining characteristics about Bella is that she is clumsy. She falls down, stumbles over furniture, and generally can't be trusted walking around on her two legs. Which has the potential to be cute and make her more likable, except that it basically sets the scene for her to be completely helpless...making it necessary for Edward to protect her at all times.

Not only does Bella have this clumsiness issue, but both Bella and Edward have this horrible, "I can't possibly live without Bella/Edward" issue that makes both characters come off as weak, whiny, and annoying. Edward has an insatiable need to protect Bella both from herself and from any other danger that could possibly come her way. He literally saves her life at least twice in the first book alone. And this is before an evil vampire coven entires the picture! Bella is rendered a sort of object within the book, something to be coveted and adored, but who basically has no power in her own life.

To make matters worse, Edward, as I mentioned earlier, is a brooding and dramatic vampire, meaning that he mostly is in a bad mood and scowls at Bella often, especially if she may possibly be in any sort of danger. This is supposed to be a mechanism for making it clear how very much he is in love with her, but constantly referring to her as though Bella belongs to him and him alone is frankly a little offensive in this day and age. Of course Bella doesn't mind, she can't possibly live without Edward, moody/brooding or not, so she's happy to have him, no matter how much he scowls or constricts her freedoms.

This all came to a horrible head in the second book. Edward and his family have left town, presumably to protect Bella because it has become dangerous for her to be around them. Edward in particular, since he is strong as an ox and may kill her (literally) with his brute strength every time they kiss. There are also evil vampires around, but I forget now whether they have entered the picture at this point. If so, that would be another reason Edward and family would have left town. Anyway, this sets the stage for Bella to spend 80% of the second book moping around, waiting to die because her precious moody vampire boyfriend has left and she now has nothing left to live for. Disgusting!

Now, I am not that old and of course I remember being a teenager in love. So, I am well aware that young straight girls do tend to think that young boys are everything and that without them life is not worth living. I get that. But this is too much! Bella literally starts to hallucinate hearing Edward's voice while performing life-threatening stunts, which only causes her to perform more life-threatening stunts so that she can hear his voice again. She completely falls apart and is really just a shell of a girl wandering around Forks. She has abandoned all of her friends and mopes hopelessly about while her father looks on stunned.

The only thing that brings her out of this months-long depression is...you guessed it...another boy! This is sweet Jacob, a local Native American boy who lives on a nearby reservation and has known Bella since they were children. They quickly become best friends, and of course this and this alone has the power to lift Bella from the depths of her depression. Eventually of course it is revealed that dear, sweet Jacob is a werewolf, an enemy to vampires, and is also in love with Bella. Which opens the door to lots of fighting over who owns Bella with not a lot of respect or even wondering what Bella wants. This is because Bella is not a real person, of course. Bella is just an object in this twisted love story for vampires and werewolves to fight for and over.

I'll spare you the remaining details of the story. This post was not supposed to be about the plot so much, but about my anger toward the story - the fact that Bella is useless as a woman and has no power within her life, Edward has control issues bordering on the abusive, and Jacob...well, Jacob is sweet but he too has too much power over Bella in this story. I guess my problem is really that it's too hard to identify with these people. And I worry that teenage girls do identify with Bella, and with a love story that involves ownership over another person. I can remember thinking how powerful that was, how awe-inspiring it seemed to have someone want you in that way. But as a grown woman it's painful to read. For me, in any case. The problem, of course, at this point, is that the story is quite compelling. I mean, there are vampire wars and everything! So I want to keep reading to find out what's going to happen. I just spend a lot of time gritting my teeth against the main characters.

So I am wondering, what do you all think? If you've read the series, do you agree with my assessment? Or are you thinking I'm taking this all just a little too seriously? Please comment!

A Kindle-rific Christmas!

2010-01-02T09:33:00.004-05:00

I received a Kindle 2 for Christmas (thanks, Mom!) and I am very excited about it, so I thought I'd talk about it here. You won't learn anything new from this post that isn't already available in a million places online, but if you're interested in the average user's opinion, read on!

So, first I'll say I love the Kindle overall. I am an avid reader and this device will certainly lighten my load. I am often in the middle of up to 3 or 4 books at one time and having the Kindle makes it easier to manage these, especially when traveling, than carrying a bunch of heavy books around. The Amazon Kindle store (at least for U.S. customers) now has over 400,000 titles available for download, many of them for $9.99 or less. Because the Kindle is an expensive device, some complain that e-books often cost $9.99 (many academic books cost much more than this, and a few e-books actually cost more than their hard-copy counterparts), but I don't mind the price really, since the cost is generally much less expensive than a hard copy. Also, there are hundreds (likely even thousands) of public-domain books whose copyright has worn off that are available for free from Amazon, feedbooks.com, or other sources. In fact, the first books I downloaded were Little Women, Pride & Prejudice, and The Picture of Dorian Gray - all old favorites and all of which were free.

The Kindle is also convenient for reading blogs. I have already signed up for KindleNation and I Love My Kindle, 2 Amazon blogs that post stories about Kindle updates, technology, and free books as they become available. I have also subscribed to a NYTimes blog feed, which publishes certain stories (several per day) as they become available. This is a cheaper option than subscribing to the whole paper, and I get lots of good news stories this way. Blogs are not free on the Kindle, which is strange since they are free to access on the web, but at only .99 to $1.99 per month, they are very cheap and well worth the "push" to my Kindle as each new entry is posted.

Newspapers and magazines can also be accessed through the Kindle, but I have not used this feature, mainly because it is quite expensive and this same content is generally accessed for free through the web. Some newspapers (including WSJ) are actually more expensive on Kindle than in paper form delivered to your front door. This I cannot understand, much less explain, but I definitely don't see the value in that unless you commute on a train and like to read the paper each morning on your commute. I have talked to a friend who also received a Kindle for Christmas, though, and he assures me that the formatting for newspapers is quite good and very easy to use, listing articles in a way that makes sense and forgoing graphics.

I am a grad student and need to read many articles, generally in pdf format. So I thought this would be a great opportunity to stop wasting all that paper printing off hundreds of pages of articles to instead read them on my kindle. So, since kindle does say there's pdf support, I tried this. I simply plugged in the kindle and transferred my articles to the documents folder. This turned out to not be too useful, since in the pdf format you aren't able to increase the font size, and the articles were much too tiny to read comfortably, even with my good vision. Also, you can't highlight or make notes on pdf files on the kindle. So, this sucks, right?

Wrong. There's a workaround. I did a little googling and discovered that I could very easily take my pdfs and convert them to Mobipocket files (the file format kindle uses for e-books) and then the kindle would treat this content just like any other - restoring the ability to change font size (not so important anymore since it's a normal size like any other e-book), and more importantly, highlight and take notes within the text. So this feature is definitely one of the most exciting for me, and likely anyone else who needs to keep up with articles in any kind of journal on a regular basis. And, it's so easy! The conversion process literally takes just a couple of clicks, and then transferring the Mobi file over to the kindle. Very simple, and quick.

Although I love my Kindle and have used it often since receiving it (I opened it a week or so before Christmas and have been using it now for about 2 weeks), but I have a couple of gripes, of course, so I'll discuss those too.

First, the Kindle 2 does not come packaged with a cover, as the first edition did. Why this was omitted for the new version, I don't know...but I think it's a bad move. I went ahead and purchased an M-Edge cover for mine, and I like it, but I don't think I should have had to shell out another $25.00 on a cover for a device that used to ship with one.

Second, and much more annoying, is the fact that there is no way to organize your content via some kind of folder structure. So at this point I only have about 20 books and articles and blogs and whatnot, but eventually I expect to have hundreds. With no folder structure to organize them I foresee a huge pain in the ass trying to find things. Huge.

All in all, a fantastic device and one that I'm very happy with, but I do hope (Amazon, are you listening?) that my folder gripe is addressed at some point.

Did you get a Kindle for Christmas? What do you think of your new toy?

Greeting Cards v. Environmentalism: Where to draw the line?

2009-11-07T13:12:00.003-05:00

I was raised in the kind of family where every gift required a handwritten thank-you card. Every birthday, Christmas, or other holiday that included gift-receiving was dutifully followed by a neat stack of handwritten thank-you cards, complete with such jewels as:

"I just know I will get a lot of use out of this wool sweater, (even though I live here in Florida and have never known cold weather)."

and

"What a thoughtful gift - I will think of you every time I use it!" (this could be applied to any gift, no matter how soon it got lost in the back of a desk drawer)

So now I have 30-some years of experience and an ingrained sense of mannerly society that requires thank-you cards. The problem is that over the last several years I have been trying to reduce my impact on the environment, and thank-you cards really use up a lot of paper that, even if recycled, would be better left unpurchased and unreplaced. So what is one to do?

The environmentalist in me says, that's what technology is for! Switch to e-cards, facebook messages, or emails! But that is quickly followed by the thought of the many, many etiquette/advice columnists (not to mention my mother) who have advised over the years that a handwritten thank-you note is an absolute, non-negotiable requirement of the gift-giving process. It goes: 1)Holiday occurs - 2)Gifts are exchanged - 3)Handwritten thank-yous are in order immediately following.

I mean, I didn't even know until I got married that there were people who didn't write thank you notes. I thought it was something everyone in the world did. But it turned out my husband didn't think they were necessary, especially for occasions like Christmas, where you open gifts in front of the givers and thank them there in person. He even went so far as to say they were a mis-step in that situation, since it makes it seem too formal for close family. Since he has always been a member of his family and knows the rules better than I do, I no longer send thank-you notes for gifts given in-person by his family and for which the giver has already been thanked.

But gifts that are not given in-person, and gifts that come from my family, still seem to require a hand-written response. Something about taking the trouble to get out the pen, write your thoughts, and address and send the envelope makes it seem more worthy of the gift. I mean, it's easy to send an e-card or an email. I even recently read a Carolyn Hax column (or maybe it was Ask Amy) that complained that e-cards are more trouble than they are worth for those with slow-loading computers. And I am quite certain Miss Manners will require handwritten thank- you notes for millenia to come. And many people listen to and agree with her. So what am I to do?

I have considered sending emails to people likely to send gifts, asking them what they think. For example, "Would you be offended if I were to send e-cards instead of handwritten cards from now on?" But that seems like it might encourage false responses, because people don't want to say, "No, I require a hand-written card!" even if they might feel that way.

So that's my dilemma...what is one to do? Do I honor tradition, social civility, or a commitment to the environment? What's more important? And what am I to do about Christmas cards, and birthday cards, and such? One family can go through a whole forest in Christmas cards alone! Still, it seems too easy to send Christmas emails.

What do you think?

American Academy of Family Physicians Sells its Soul to Coke

2009-10-07T11:29:00.001-04:00

Coke in US family doctors alliance

By Jonathan Birchall in New York

Published: October 6 2009 16:45 | Last updated: October 6 2009 16:45

Financial Times

Coca-Cola, the world’s largest soft drink company, has formed a corporate partnership with the leading US family doctors group to promote healthier diet and lifestyle choices, as it fights back against growing pressure from health policy groups for a tax on sugared sodas.

The American Academy of Family Physicians said on Tuesday that Coca-Cola would be the first corporate partner in a new “consumer alliance” that would work “to educate consumers about the role their products can play in a healthy, active lifestyle”.

Coke is providing AAFP with a grant to develop educational content on soft drinks and sweeteners for the group’s popularFamilyDoctor.org health website.

Lori Heim, president-elect of the AAFP, said the group would receive “a strong six figure” payment annually from Coca-Cola to fund its work under the partnership. She said the group would give Coke “appropriate recognition” in the material produced for its involvement, but that the AAFP retained editorial control, including over whether or not to use Coca-Cola’s logo.

The AAFP, she said, had approached Coke and other companies over the idea of sponsorship, after previous cooperation on health issues.

Dr Rhona Applebaum, chief scientific and regulatory officer at Coca-Cola, said the partnership would “help provide Americans with credible information on beverages and enable consumers to make informed decisions about what they drink based on individual need.”

The announcement is part of a raft of steps being taken by Coke amid growing calls from some health policy makers for a federal tax on sugared drinks, and idea that has received some support from the White House.

New York city’s health department is running advertising on the city’s subway aimed at discouraging consumption of sugared sodas and juices.

Michael Jacobsen, executive director of the Center for Science in the Public Interest, which is actively supporting the idea of a federal “soda-tax”, criticised the AAFP move.

“Nothing particularly good will come of it,” he said.

“But Coca-Cola will be able to brag publicly that it is involved in a health education effort with one of America’s most respected medical groups.”

Coke said last week it would put calorie-serving counts on the front of soft-drink packaging in the US, following a policy already adopted in Australia, Mexico and Europe.

It has also launched advertising in leading US markets highlighting the step and plans to introduce new, smaller 90-calorie cans of Coke next year.

Coke is also participating along with about 40 other food companies in a new group, the Healthy Weight Commitment Foundation, aimed at combatting rising levels of childhood obesity in the US.

Six years ago, Coca-Cola announced a similar partnership with the American Academy of Pediatric Dentists on efforts to fight tooth decay.

The AAFP said that while it did not endorse any specific brand, product or service, its new consumer alliance “will collaborate with companies that share the common goal of informing consumers, as well as medical professionals, about new advances in product science and best practices for good health”.

Imogen Heaps's New Album, "Ellipse"

2009-08-23T13:33:00.000-04:00

Have a listen! Enjoy!

Literal Video Hilarity

2009-06-11T12:34:00.001-04:00

This maybe the funniest video clip I've seen in my entire life. It's Bonnie Tyler's "Total Eclipse of the Heart" video, but the words have been dubbed over so that the vocals just describe all the random goings-on in the video. Just trust me - watch it!

Form Letter from eMusic in Reply to My Rage

2009-06-07T13:40:00.002-04:00

See the last post for the story on what's going on over at eMusic. Here's the reply they sent after I fired off an angry missive (not an attack; just letting them know I was upset over the policy change).

Obviously, it's a form letter, probably sent out to 1000 customers or more who complained about the change, and I don't believe for a minute they're taking the outcry seriously. I guess eMusic is banking on the idea that new customers signing up for the Sony back-catalog will make up for the exodus of old customers. Anyway, here's the letter I received:

Hello,

Thank you for contacting eMusic Customer Support,

We understand your concern and want to assure you that we truly value loyal customers like yourself and we are very grateful to you for staying with us this long. This is a big change, but not one that was made lightly. The new plans enable us to better compensate all of our labels, plus add new content from Sony starting in July, and even more new labels in the future. In order to offer you more content from Sony and other labels, we simply can no longer sustain the lowest cost plans that some members have, but we are pleased that we can still offer you prices at less than half the average price per download on iTunes and Amazon.

Many of you have expressed concern that eMusic is abandoning our focus on independent artists and becoming like "the big guys". This is simply not true. We've given it a lot of thought, and we're confident that we can integrate Sony music in a way that does justice to eMusic -- and not just eMusic as a business, but eMusic as those of us who use it every day know and love it. As you know, we have an exceptionally talented staff of music editors who are excited to highlight the hidden gems in Sony's deep catalog that will only compliment the collection of awesome and unusual tunes already in your eMusic collection.

So yes, while this is a big change, we believe the end result is a better music experience for everyone in the long-term. We hope you will have patience and stay with us to enjoy all the new content coming soon.

Sincerely,

Your Friends at eMusic
Regards,

Harold- eMusic Customer Support

Emusic Fail!!

2009-06-06T17:20:00.003-04:00

I am blogging today just to let everyone (I know, I know...all 3 or 4 of you who read this blog, anyway) know that I am furious with eMusic! (Normally I provide a link to the websites I discuss, but I am seriously pissed off and don't want to give them any traffic.)

For many years now, eMusic has been the "corner indie music store" of the web, where people could get the "digging through dusty crates" experience of a real brick & mortar indie record store. They offer a ton of tracks from indie labels, along with excellent editorials and other music writing & reviews. I have had a subscription there for over 3 years, and have come to depend on eMusic as one of my main sources of music discovery. I discovered The Weepies there, along with many other acts that I would likely not have heard of elsewhere.

The pricing structure was pretty restrictive, requiring a monthly subscription plan, but the prices were so low that it made it worthwhile. The only real problem I had with the plan was that there were months where I forgot to download my tracks and lost them. Still, I have maintained and been pretty happy with my subscription, which has offered me 50 downloads per month for $11.99, which is a great deal, especially compared to Amazon, iTunes, or the like.

A few days ago eMusci announces in an exciting tone that they will be offering a new catalog, including over 200,000 new tracks! Yay! These are all from Sony labels and will largely feature major acts such as Springsteen, Alicia Keys, and other big names. Now, I want to stress that that alone is okay with me. I'm cool with having big name acts available alongside the indie stuff, so long as the editorial content and music discovery focus is still there, and that eMusic doesn't simply become the next Columbia/iTunes/BMG or similar.

But the prices have almost doubled! I have been informed that my 50 track plan for $11.99 per month will now be reduced to 30 tracks! There was a price increase a few months ago, but at that point subscribers were grandfathered in at current rates. Why not now?

I suspect it's because eMusic had to agree to raise prices in order to get access to this catalog. This pisses me off royally, since this catalog doesn't even represent what has made eMusic such a great community for so long! They are completely abandoning their base, hoping that newcomers will make up for it financially.

Well, I don't know yet if I'll cancel my subscription, but I am seriously considering it. Judging by the comments made to the letter to subscribers on the site, many people will cancel in July when the new structures takes effect.

I just wanted to issue a stern slap on the wrist. If only I had more readers, so that this post might make some sort of difference!

Aimee Mann on PBS!

2009-05-02T09:18:00.002-04:00

Aimee Mann - 31 Today from Artists Den on Vimeo.

I just love Aimee Mann. She'll soon be on an episode of The Artist's Den on PBS, although unfortunately it doesn't look like it'll be airing in Albany. If you want to see when (if) it will air in your neck of the woods, check here.

Religious Propaganda Rears Its Ugly Head to Continue Assault on Gays

2009-04-19T15:45:00.003-04:00

The video clip is an example of religious propoganda. It stinks of the anti-Communist propaganda from the 50's. My favorite part occurs when the narrator, he of the noble voice, attempts to manipulate scientific inquiry by stating that "all the while, it is the gays who have the highest rates of alcohol abuse...and suicide." In this statement he implies that the sins of alcohol abuse and suicide are consequences of "the gays'" sexual choices...when we have only correlational evidence of these relationships, which we cannot use to infer causality. Therefore, it is just as likely (actually far more likely in my opinion...but I digress) that problems such as substance abuse and suicide are actually factors that follow, not from the state of being gay, but the state of being oppressed by an entire society to some extent, but by these right-wing anti-gay fanatics in particular.

Shame on this video!!

Favorite Movie Quotes

2009-04-03T21:10:00.004-04:00

What are your favorite movie quotes? Here are mine:

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." (Gone With the Wind)

"Sell crazy someplace else; we're all stocked up here." (As Good as it Gets)

"Why didn't I just concur?" (weird, I know! But in context it's hilarious! From Catch Me if You Can)

"What, like it's hard?" (from Legally Blonde, when Warner asks Elle in astonishment, "You got into Harvard Law?"

"That boy sure is a running fool." (Forrest Gump, of course)

And finally, no movie quote list would be complete without the whole monologue preceding "You can't handle the truth!" from A Few Good Men!

So, what are your faves?

**Editing later to add a few that I've been reminded of**

So here are a couple of great ones I forgot:

"If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a ball!" (Patches, from Dodgeball)

Randall: "I don't appreciate your ruse, Ma'am"
Lady : "My what?"
Randall: "your clever attempt to trick me." (from Clerks, obviously)

Christian the Lion

2009-04-03T20:52:00.003-04:00

For those of you completely out of the loop, here is a tear-jerker video of a reunion with a long lost lion cub with his human companions! So, the story is that these 2 British guys (from the 70's, if the hair & clothes are any indication) bought this lion cub, from Harrod's of all places, when they saw him in a cage there and felt sorry that he had to live in a cage. So they raised him for awhile, until he grew too big for their home. Then they sent him to a sanctuary in Africa. I think this video was taken a year later. I was shocked to see this - Christian actually remembers them! Well, either that or he cuddles and hugs with all kinds of strange humans.

By the way, if you go to youtube, there's another version of this but edited so that all you hear is Whitney Houston's rendition of "I Will Always Love You". I implore you to watch this one instead, as it features a woman narrating the reunion. Part of a documentary, I suspect. Enjoy!

All the People with Their Pretty Blogs...

2009-01-24T12:38:00.002-05:00

Hi. So, lately I've been checking a lot of new blogs. And what I've noticed is that most people have prettier blogs than mine. Now, it's not Blogger's fault. After all, I've used the provided templates and I change them periodically. In fact, I just switched to "Scribe" on my veggie blog, The Newbie Vegetarian, and I like it. But the other day I visited another veggie blog and there was a beautiful photo of colorful veggies up top, and I'm totally jealous!

So here's the thing. I don't know how to do anything fancy. I can add pictures to posts, and I can add videos when the html is right there for me to copy & paste, but I have no idea how people get pretty pictures up on the top header, where the title goes. And I don't feel ready for a more advanced site like Wordpress, where your options are limitless but it costs money.

I think I need to do some research, maybe "Blogging for Dummies" or some other beginner's guide. So, if you are one of those people with one of those pretty blogs, how did you learn? Share your knowledge, folks! Please?

White Supremecists Continue to Give White People Bad Name

2009-01-18T20:42:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I'm ashamed to be a white person. Thanks to Wes over at Part Politics, Part Religion for posting this.

Update on Cats

2009-01-06T22:59:00.004-05:00

So, a few months ago I posted that we got a new kitten, Jack. At the time, of course, Cleo (our already established cat) was not amused and vacillated between ignoring him and kicking the shit out of him. I am happy to report that now they are good friends!

They play together all the time, although frankly Jack sometimes wants to play a little more rambunctiously than Cleo is really interested in...but she seems to tolerate his antics because she's developed a soft spot for the little guy.

They lay together and play together and groom each other. It's all very adorable. So, for those of you naysayers who thought 2 stranger cats would never get along, take heart! It is possible!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-01T15:27:00.004-05:00

Hello everyone, and Happy New Year!

I don't make resolutions, because, frankly, it's just a silly waste of time for me. In the past when I have made resolutions, even with the best of intentions they last about through January, then taper off forgotten. So forget resolutions. But as I have been enjoying a more healthy lifestyle in the last year or so anyway, I'll just post a few things that I plan to continue.

1. Working out. I started exercising in earnest back in April, at the local Y. Since then I can't tell you how much better, stronger, healthier, and generally more awesome I feel. I have had a few weeks where I have been unable/unwilling/too lazy to go, but so far I have always gone back, and I've never missed more than 2 weeks or so, so I think overall I'm doing well. Things that make it easier for me include the fact that I had real results just a few weeks after starting. About a month in or so, a friend of mine commented on my "big guns"! Now, I am a small woman and my guns are by no means "big" but definitely more defined and no longer stick-figure-like. Also the front-desk people and the trainers and the other regular exercisers all recognize me and that makes me more willing to go also, since I feel like people will notice if I fall off the wagon. I realize that's pretty self-important, to assume that other people care whether or not I show up at the gym, but it helps me stay motivated, so I'm sticking with it.

2. In June I gave up meat. Becoming a vegetarian has been really important to me. I feel like I'm healthier as a result, and I have certainly discovered a bunch of new foods to eat and new ways to eat foods I already ate. I'm cooking at home more, and eating more healthfully in general, and I'm really happy about it.

3. This may sound ridiculous, but I floss regularly. I didn't always (in fact there's a post around here somewhere from when I started) but it's awesome to have a clean-feeling mouth. And even more awesome when the dentist says "looks great; no drill"!

4. This last one really has nothing to do with my health, unless mental health counts, but I've been enjoying it and frankly, I think mental health does count, so here goes. Recently I've been trying to learn how to take good pictures. I have no need to become a world-class photographer, but just to make some photos that make me feel good. Recently we had about 2 feet of snow up here in Albany, so I went out and took a few pics of that. In fact, here's one now:

I took that! I love how it looks all Narnia-esque, with the lampost and everything. But the thing is I don't really know "the rules" of photography or anything about composition, so I bought a book and I'm learning as I go. I'm really excited about it.

So those are a few of my non-resolutions. What are yours?

Gender-Pay Gap Alive and Well in Germany

2008-10-26T22:36:00.002-04:00

Today the Washington Post featured an article about the gender-pay gap in Germany, where women are still paid around 88 cents to the man's dollar. If we take the corporations at their word, it's mostly a function of biology. After all, women are only going to get pregnant, have babies, and quit their jobs anyway, so why hire them "for real," right?

This argument is insulting. Sure, some women will no doubt have babies and quit their jobs, at least temporarily, to care for their children. But no company, boss, or co-worker can know who these women will be before the fact. You can't predict this eventuality based on the presence of absence of a person's uterus. Some women don't even want children (hard to believe, I know, but nevertheless true). Others never have children because their careers are more important. Let's be fair and not assume all women are the same, with same goals and dreams. We are not identical automatons just standing around waiting to get pregnant. This is a courtesy everyone extends to men without even blinking. Of course men aren't all the same. Men are unique individuals, with unique goals and abilities and lives. So why do some people continue to believe that women have identical aspirations? Women are just as varied as men are. (This is also a problem in racial prejudice, but that's another post.)

My favorite quote from the article:

Stefan Linz, 32, said it makes "no sense" to fight for equality on the job because men and women are not the same. As he balanced a 5-gallon plastic jug on his left shoulder, making his rounds to deliver water to Hamburg offices, he said a woman wouldn't be strong enough to do what he does.

"We should cherish the differences," Linz said. "Women are the ones who get pregnant. Families are falling apart because women don't stay home. Isn't it time we just face the facts?"

Um, what facts, exactly? This man, apparently like so many others, does not see the fallacy of his argument about families falling apart because women don't stay home. Where are the responsibilities (and the rights) of men in this scenario? Why do we automatically expect women to be the ones to drop everything and stay home to be the caretaker? This should be a responsibility of men as well. Not only that, but my bet is that there are men who desperately want this opportunity but can't take it because they aren't offered any kind of paternity leave in their jobs.

The answer is pretty clear to me: it's time to insist on gender equality all the way around. It's not just the pay gap, it's the caretaker-gap, the expectations-gap, etc. Fathers have to take responsibilities for families just as mothers have. Mothers have the same right to a career outside the home as fathers do. When women do work outside the home, they are entitled to equal pay for equal work. They are entitled to freedom from assumptions about their futures.

I also want to discuss the value of so-called "women's work" but I'll save that for another post.

The Opinions of Those Who Really Shouldn't Matter...But Do

2008-10-12T10:26:00.003-04:00

Normally I don't get terribly personal in this blog, but right now I'm interested in ranting, so enjoy.

I am a grad student in clinical psychology, Pete is a grad student (a couple of years ahead of me) in philosophy. Both of us are completely satisfied with our choices and look forward to our future as academics, even considering the anxiety of the "publish or perish" lifestyle and the uncertain economic futures we are both likely to face when it comes time to search for jobs. We feel that our chosen careers are meaningful and rewarding. Neither of us were ever very interested in the corporate working world or in making shitloads of money.

We have always been aware that some people don't value our lifestyle, or our eventual careers as worthwhile or useful. However some of these people are my own family members and frankly, it hurts my feelings. My stepfather, for example, believes that we are up here in New York just giggling our days away and doing nothing of any import, while delaying our eventual entrance into the workforce indefinitely. And once we become professors, he apparently believes that we will work up and until we get tenured (assuming such a thing happens for us!) and then enjoy the slacker lifestyle once again until we die.

This mindset bothers me because I do work hard for this. It's not playtime. I attend classes, run support group meetings, have clinical training, and do research. Although Pete has completed his classwork, he still must teach and work on completing his dissertation. We both believe wholeheartedly in our work as worthwhile endeavors and I, for one, don't appreciate being called lazy because I'm not a banker, lawyer, doctor, or entrepreneur. My stepfather never went to college, instead following his father straight into the citrus business. He has done well in business and makes good money. I don't begrudge him this but I hate his attitude that dictates that you must create something tangible or make plenty of money to be a contributor to society.

This shouldn't upset me, considering I haven't ever had a relationship with the man, even though he has been married to my mother since I was 10, but nevertheless it does. I feel misunderstood and degraded when I hear that he doesn't think we do anything useful and doesn't respect grad school as a worthwhile endeavor unless you can be guaranteed a large salary when you're through with it.

I am only in my second year of a 5-year program that often takes 6 years, so I obviously have a long way to go before I can even begin to prove myself. But why do I feel the need to prove myself to someone whose own lifestyle and values I don't agree with? I'm not sure if this bothers Pete, if it does he seems to let it roll off, but if his family felt this way about us and our futures I am sure I'd be upset by it.

In the end, I just want to do good research and be respected in my field. I think I will be respected by my colleagues but I wonder about my parents, and the rest of my family (who mostly have no idea what I'm up to these days). Does it matter? I don't know...I'd like to let this go and just live for myself and my own happiness. Intellectually I know I don't have anything to prove to anyone, but emotionally sometimes I still feel like a child, pining for approval.

The Arrival of Jack

2008-09-20T10:30:00.005-04:00

This is Jack, our new kitten. He's almost 3 months old and we ended up adopting him from the local humane society. He's very curious and playful; he kept us up last night leaping all around the bed trying to "catch" anything that moved!

This is Cleo, our 8-year-old woman-of-the-house cat.

There is no picture of them together yet, because Jack gives Cleo an extremely wide berth and does not go near her if he can help it. This is because Cleo seems to enjoy chasing him down, hissing, and swatting at his tiny head as if to say "Get the hell out of my house, you little rat!"

I am confident (well, hoping, anyway) that this passes and they work out their relationship peacefully in the next few days or weeks. We just brought Jack home last night and we didn't expect Cleo to be best friends with him immediately. Still, it would be nice if she didn't terrorize the poor little guy.

I'll keep you posted.

Conservatives Look Away!

2008-09-14T22:02:00.003-04:00

So this is one of the funniest things I've seen lately.

Also, I'd like to support Tina Fey for president!

The Ethics of Animal Adoption

2008-09-07T18:24:00.002-04:00

Recently one of our beloved cats died. Our other cat (Jezebel's sister), Cleo, is now alone much of the time and we are beginning to explore the possibilities of adopting another cat. This brings up ethical questions for me regarding adopting an older cat vs. a kitten, and more importantly, where to adopt from.

The adult cat/kitten issue for me is simply that there are many, many more adult cats out there that need homes and that are less likely to be adopted, since everybody loves a fuzzy, adorable kitten. Jezebel and Cleo were adopted together as adults and they have been simply two of the most wonderful pets a person could want. I never saw them as kittens, and I don't feel as if I have missed anything. So, in general I definitely am more comfortable adopting adult cats who may otherwise go unadopted. However, now that we already have a cat and we are exploring bringing another cat into our home, and into Cleo's home, it makes more sense to adopt a kitten, whom she will be more likely to accept than an adult cat who is less likely to accept the established hierarchy. So that's one question. Pete seems pretty set on adopting a kitten, so I'm sure we'll probably go with that option since I think it would also make the easiest transition for Cleo and the new kitten.

Now for the more difficult "where to adopt from" debate. What we know so far is that we will not buy a cat from a pet store where who knows what may have happened in its early life, and we will not buy a cat from a breeder. There are already too many cats for society to care for properly, which is why the humane society and some other agencies routinely "euthanize" animals that are deemed "unadoptable." So it doesn't make sense to support the creation of even more cats. The more difficult part of this dilemma, for me, is the question of whether to adopt from a no-kill shelter or from a humane society/ASPCA type of agency, where many animals each year must be euthanized in order to make room for other adoptable animals. Many people absolutely refuse to support these organizations because they are repulsed by the practice of "putting down" animals. For me, it is not quite that simple.

Jez & Cleo were adopted from a no-kill shelter (AdvoCats in Virgina, which I highly recommend as a wonderful organization if you're in the DC area). I felt good about this decision at the time, but the fact of the matter is that if I hadn't adopted them, they would have lived to be adopted by someone else, or simply lived out their lives in the shelter's playroom with many playmates. They would not have been put down had I not adopted them.

So, from that point of view, it makes sense to adopt from the humane society, since the animals there may very well be put down if they aren't adopted out in a timely fashion. But that is a difficult choice to make because I'm not especially keen on supporting the practice of euthanizing perfectly healthy animals just because there aren't enough homes for them.

What are your thoughts? Have you dealt with this dilemma?

Why the Secrecy?

2008-08-26T20:43:00.003-04:00

So I was over on Sciencewomen today (which is an excellent blog I just found), and they have many links to the blogs of other academic women in the sciences. I have looked at several of them, and what I have noticed is a sort of tacit agreement to never mention anything more specific about their work than "science". So the profiles say "I'm a Ph.D with a science degree" or "I'm a woman scientist" or something equally vague. Occasionally someone says "in the natural sciences" or "in a technical field," but never, ever, do they say "I'm a biologist" or "physicist" or "sociologist" or "psychologist" or "geologist" (you get the picture.)

I realized while pondering this that my own profile doesn't even give that much. So here's the lowdown on me: I am a Ph.D student in clinical psychology (I feel like I've broken some rule by not just leaving it at "scientist") and I will eventually join the ranks of these female scientists. Am I not allowed to mention it specifically in the blogosphere?

So, a plea, to any woman scientist bloggers who happen accidentally upon my site (I am well aware that I have very few actual readers, and no scientists to my knowledge): Leave a comment! Let me in on the secret code of women scientist bloggers - why the secrecy?

Retracting an earlier post retracting an earlier post

2008-08-23T13:13:00.002-04:00

Hi all! I am very thrilled to report that Netflix is back in my good graces! Awhile back I posted that they were going to do away with their incredibly useful "Profiles" feature. I was irate and pledged that I would cancel my subscription prior to the implementation of this change.

Today I logged on to cancel the subscription in anticipation of the change (which was supposed to occur in September) and noticed a new "Add a Queue?" option in the drop-down menus. Hopeful, I made a phone call to their excellent customer service representatives and found out that customers such as myself had caused such an uproar that they changed their minds and are no longer getting rid of Profiles! Yay!!

It turns out my voice matters! And also, I once again heartily recommend Netflix as an awesome company!

Black and White Kids Play Together Down South!

2008-08-23T10:49:00.003-04:00

So, we all know how public schools are just set up in such a way that most of our white kids are far better educated than most of our black kids. This has to do with school funding, property taxes and such. This system maintains the cycle of poverty in black communities, and it has for decades. However, many years ago public schools were supposed to at the very least be making an effort to be racially integrated. It occurs to me that, even now, they are not even paying lip service to this requirement in some parts of the country.

This post on the Women's Bioethics Blog really got me upset. It discusses the implications of Charleston, Mississippi's first integrated prom. And I'm not talking about ancient history here; this first integrated prom happened in June. June 2008!

Apparently even though the school (like all Mississippi schools) officially integrated back in 1970 (close to 40 years ago for those counting!) the school was maintaining a system of racially segregated proms, both organized privately. It sounds an awful lot like the school was paying extra to maintain a status quo of racism and bigotry. So Charleston native Morgan Freeman has been offering since 1997 now to pay for the school's prom, if only they would allow all the kids to attend it. Finally, the school accepted.

I'm tempted to view the school's eventual acceptance of this offer as a step in the right direction with regard to the racial divide, but some of the white parents were opposed to this plan and wanted to continue having private proms for their precious white children. Of course I realize there will always be a few racist assholes and we apparently just have to learn to live with them, but it seems more systemic down in Mississippi, when I read stories like this. Why have they been holding segregated proms all this time? And why are they finally integrating, at the pressure (and with the money) of Morgan Freeman, only now?

I'll admit I'm from down south and most of my family continue to be loud & proud racists but I really thought we had dealt institutionalized racism a blow with forced integration. Apparently I was wrong. Maybe I am insulated from this because I now live in the north? Or because I run in circles that abhor racism and oppression in general? Or is it simply because I haven't been paying attention?

And if its the latter, how many others aren't paying attention? We all need to get out butts up and fight for what's right. History isn't important to maintain just because it's history, after all. Much of our American history is straight up embarrassing, and better left behind.

Women Apparently Finding Other Things To Do

2008-08-20T16:32:00.002-04:00

This report from the NYTimes says the latest census indicates that 20% of women ages 40-44 are childless. Unsurprisingly, this number goes up to 27% for women with advanced degrees.

I'm really surprised this number is so high, actually! I mean, fully a fifth of women have no children? That's incredible. It seems like 90% of the women I know want to have children (although most don't yet) even though most of them are pursuing graduate degrees. Further, it still feels like childless women are somewhat scorned, which is really surprising if that many of them are bucking the childbearing trend.

The number of childless women has increased since the 70's, so I wonder if it will continue to increase...like, do we need to worry about the population? Or is this a good thing in terms of population control that we can expect to bounce back at some point?

What do you think?

Olympic Excitement

2008-08-16T21:43:00.007-04:00

Normally in life I don't care about sports, athletes, athleticism, strength, ability, or anything else related to competing in any sport. But when the Olympic games come around, I'm suddenly a sports fan. I've been looking forward to these Beijing Summer Games for at least a year now, hoping for some spectacle as shocking as gymnast Paul Hamm coming back from a terrible fall (on the judge's table!) to win the gold in 2004.

This year, of course, it's all about swimmer Michael Phelps. He's a juggernaut, after all. As I write this there's only one event for which he doesn't hold the world record in swimming. And he's just surpassed Mark Spitz's 1972 record for most gold medals. Some of his prowess is due to a very fortunate gene pool, but most of his success has to do with rigorous training, discipline, and talent, I'm sure. Not bad for a 23-year old kid.

Also we have gymnasts Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin, 16 and 18, respectively, with similar levels of talent and discipline (if not yet the shelf-ful of gold medals to show for it). Again, just kids with incredible abilities and opportunities.

So I guess this is why I get turned on to sports during the Olympics...it seems so much more exciting than sports at any other time. I don't really get wrapped up in the competitive aspect of it; I just like to watch the individuals perform. (Even during the Olympics I don't spend much time on the team sports). Watching the swimmers or the gymnasts (or even the trampolinists - if that's what you call them) just feels like art.

My New Blog!

2008-08-11T15:34:00.001-04:00

Hi all. Those of you (hahahahahah, as though I have an audience!) who are following my transition to vegetarianism may be interested in my new blog, The Newbie Vegetarian. That's where I'll be posting stuff related to vegetarianism from now on, so please check it out!

Turnaround

2008-08-01T13:45:00.002-04:00

Hi all! I know it's been awhile; I completely skipped blogging in July for some reason. But I'm back, so those (1) of you who keep up with this, thanks for your patience!

Here's the major news since we last convened: I have completely cut out meat and am now a vegetarian. I am not vegan, nor do I wish to be, but I'm doing what I can for the environment, the animals, and my health. (Don't do nothing because you can't do everything, right?)

The transition hasn't been that difficult. It's only been about a month, so far, but I've really been surprised by how little effort it takes to construct meals around things other than meat. I've simply introduced a lot more veggies and fruits, nuts, legumes, grains and pastas into my diet. The trick is making sure to get more veggies & fruits, and not simply living on carbs. It can be tricky when eating in restaurants, depending on the restaurant, but ethnic places are pretty easy. It's the all-American "steakhouse" that poses a challenge. My solution has typically been to order one of those giant chicken salads without the chicken & bacon. The restaurant where I work in the summer has several varieties of the chicken salad, and they're all full of mixed greens & veggies and can be had without any meat without sacrificing flavor or fullness.

Anybody who knows me will be shocked to hear that I also continue to work out almost every day! The workout schedule started in April and in the beginning was horrible and achy and painful. Now, however, I've grown accustomed to my workouts and they don't make me feel achy so much as powerful. I've gained quite a bit of muscle, and my tummy has tightened back up again. Yay! Vanity and health!

In another astonishing blow to those who think they know me, I have been flossing every single day since around mid-June when I visited the dentist. Even though I hadn't been in 4 years, I didn't have any cavities or other major problems, and I figured I should thank my lucky stars and maybe start taking better care of my teeth, since they are apparently doing all they can to take care of me.

So that's the turnaround; I've adopted a healthier lifestyle. I'm really hoping I can stick with it long-term. Wish me luck!

Vegetarian/Vegan Derision for Carnivores

2008-06-30T18:38:00.004-04:00

I have been considering cutting meat out of my diet. Both for health reasons and so that I won't be contributing to agribusiness, an industry which does nothing to impress me. I am beginning slowly, trying out new vegetables and fruits, and meat substitutes. (Note to readers: if you go vegetarian, just forgo hot dogs. Do not eat "veggie protein links". They don't taste good. Trust me.)

Another step on my journey thus far was checking out the podcast, "Vegetarian Food for Thought" by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau, of Compassionate Cooks. First I should state that I have listened to about 10 episodes so far and I really enjoy the podcast. Colleen provides a ton of great information and has a wonderful, upbeat attitude in general that make the podcasts very accessible to someone like me who still eats some meat. However, as much as she claims to be very non-judgmental and open-minded, and pays a lot of lip service to the idea of having patience with non-vegetarians, she still comes off as pretty judgmental sometimes, which turns me off. Obviously, the podcast is intended for vegans and those already committed to a vegan lifestyle and the topics discussed include not only vegan food and resources, but also the kinds of horrible things that happen in chicken farms and beef feedlots and the like.

I appreciate learning these things and would urge her to continue covering all of these topics. Frankly, though, I could live without descriptions of non-vegetarians as "people stuffing their faces with tortured animal flesh". Ouch! Of course I realize it's easy to respond to this criticism with a statement of its veracity. I'm not denying that animals are treated inhumanely on their way to becoming our dinner, nor am I denying that people do, in fact, stuff their faces with this meat. But a simple "meat eaters" would suffice in this description. Save the snide derision, please - it's really not doing anything to convince me further to join your cause.

A similar experience came from reading vegan magazines. I picked up copies of "Vegetarian Times" and "VegNews". While Vegetarian Times was a reasonably accessible magazine with a ton of great recipes and tips, VegNews really was derisive, snotty, and incredibly self-righteous. This magazine described meat-eaters as "picking carcasses out of their teeth." So, I will not be purchasing that magazine again, if only to preserve my feelings of self-worth. (Note to VegNews: if you want to reach a wider audience, spare us the self-righteous, snobby attitude!)

I continue to ponder this decision. For me, it's really not as simple as, "I can live without causing animals to suffer and so I should forgo meat." As much as this upsets many vegetarians/vegans, I don't really think it's wrong to eat meat. I only think it's wrong to treat animals inhumanely while they're alive. The reason I would become vegetarian instead of switching only to cage-free eggs and pasture-raised beef, etc. is because I can never be certain of the origin of my food unless I visit the farm from whence it came.

One thing I know from my vegetarian/vegan research is that people committed to meat-free lifestyles are genuinely concerned for the welfare of animals and people, and they want to promote their cause in order to spread the news and cause fewer animals to be harmed. So it makes sense to turn off the snide remarks and try to be a little accepting if only for the sake of those of us on the cusp of taking the plunge.

Retracting an earlier post praising Netflix

2008-06-19T16:36:00.003-04:00

I received the following email from one of my formerly favorite companies today: Dear Andie, We wanted to let you know we will be eliminating Profiles, the feature that allowed you to set up separate DVD Queues under one account, effective September 1, 2008. Each additional Profile Queue will be unavailable after September 1, 2008. Before then, we recommend you consolidate any of your Profile Queues to your main account Queue or print them out. While it may be disappointing to see Profiles go away, this change will help us continue to improve the Netflix website for all our customers. If you have any questions, please go to http://www.netflix.com/Help?p_faqid=3962 or call us anytime at 1 (888) 638-3549. We apologize for any inconvenience. - The Netflix Team

I am fervently hoping they reconsider this decision, or at the very least offer a much better explanation than "this change will help us continue to improve the Netflix website..."

Thoughts?

Missing Jezebel

2008-06-12T10:48:00.003-04:00

My sweet, outgoing, affectionate cat, Jezebel, died yesterday morning. She had had numerous health problems over several months but we thought she was going to be okay. Then I brought her in for what I thought was overheat, dehydration, maybe a stomach bug...and it turned out all this time she had a giant tumor in her belly. We had to put her down.

We had her for about 7 years and she was a great cat - and an integral part of the family. She'll be missed terribly.

A Culture of Misogyny

2008-05-29T15:09:00.003-04:00

Many people believe that the work of feminists is done. Those people are wrong. If we were the kind of country who no longer needed feminists we would have had a female president by now. More women CEO's and in other positions of high authority. We would have less sexual assault and rape. Clearly, we still need feminists because the work is far from done.

For rape victims, the situation is even worse across the pond. In England only 5.7% of rape cases bring convictions, according to an article in the Washington Post. Apparently, the other 94.3% of victims are liars. This cannot just be an outrage to me - where is the outcry about this injustice? The article mentions one case where a judge informed the jury that the defendant was "in a way a good man" because his prior convictions were nonviolent. In that same case the judge instructed the jury to ignore the girl's age - 15 - in their deliberations (the man was 28). Excuse me?!? The judge should be put on trial!

Between a quarter and a third of Brits believe that a woman is responsible for her rape if she is drinking or dressed provocatively. I submit that if a woman is hammered out of her mind and walking down the street wearing only a sandwich board reading "I'm horny!" she still is not deserving of rape! She still has not turned over ownership of her body to you or anyone else.

I realize this article talks specifically about the situation in England, but let's not forget that the situation here is not much better. If we want to make rape less common we need to make rapists accountable for their actions. This means convicting them, punishing the crime, and not defiling the victim's character. There is no other crime - certainly no crime against men - where the victim's character comes into question. When someone is robbed, or shot, we don't ask how the victim put him/herself into such a position to become vulnerable to robbery or gunfire. Why do we do this with rape? Simple. A culture of misogyny.

Let's move on, people. Let's stop paying lip service to the idea that women and men have equal rights and actually become a society where that is true.

Floss

2008-05-28T23:53:00.003-04:00

The late great Mitch Hedberg said "I know how hard it is stop smoking; it's as hard as it is to start flossing." Having both quit smoking and attempted to start flossing (both numerous times) I can say that he, in his infinite wisdom, was right.

I take decent care of myself in other respects. Certainly I brush often. I brush several times a day, many more than the recommended two times. Why in the world is it so hard to spend the extra 5 minutes to floss?

Logical to a Fault

2008-05-26T15:47:00.005-04:00

Recently while watching an episode of Lost, my logical-to-a-fault husband was irritated by the following premise:

There was some sort of time-warp doohicky going on and Desmond's consciousness was going back and forth uncontrollably between the past and present. A physicist in the present instructed Desmond to find him in the past so that he could help, which he did. The physicist then informed Desmond that the reason he was flitting back and forth was that he had no anchor, nothing he really cared about in both times to anchor his consciousness. Thus, he needed to convince his ex-girlfriend in the past to give him her phone number so that he could call her 8 years in the future to prevent his consciousness-traveling from killing him. She gave him the number and didn't move for the next 8 years and he called her. All is well.

Okay, so Pete (the aforementioned husband) was really not fond of this premise. Frankly, I see what he means about how it doesn't make sense. But Lost is that kind of show. I mean, this program is full of crazy shenanigans, including a magic healing island inhabited by polar bears and deadly monsters made of smoke, as well as a community of "natives" who are clearly up to no good and apparently unlimited weaponry and ammunition, despite complete isolation from the outside world. So flaky time-travel story lines are really just part of the fun, in my opinion.

But here's the thing. Today Pete is watching 300, a movie which I have not seen but a few fleeting minutes of, but which appears to be the moving tale of a group of young and handsome warriors who enjoy doing battle in their capes and briefs. Now their adversaries are decked out in full head-to-toe armor including helmets and chain-mail and all the other awesome battle-wear, but the Cape-and-Panty-Brigade is nevertheless able to move thru them with due speed, slitting their throats like it's all in a day's work.

'Splain, please. It seems a bit inconsistent to be skeptical of one illogical TV premise and accepting of the other. Or am I missing some critical piece of information that makes the two incomparable?

The Wood Brothers

2008-05-11T09:19:00.003-04:00

Last night we saw The Wood Brothers at Revolution Hall in Troy. What an incredible show; thanks Wood Bros! So a little background first. The Wood Brothers are Oliver Wood and Chris Wood (yes, that's Chris Wood from Medeski, Martin & Wood). Oliver handles the lead vocals and guitar; he has an incredible bluesy voice which sounds out of place coming from behind a curtain of long, blond hair but it goes perfectly with their blend of blues, folk, and country. Chris, for me at least, stole the show with his out-of-this-world finger picking on the upright bass. The people I was with all agreed we could watch him play that bass all night. It's as though the instrument becomes part of him - absolutely incredible to watch. Chris also handles the harmonica and backup vocals, as well as taking lead vocals on a couple of songs.

My favorite part of the evening was the encore, when they finally played "Make Me Down a Pallet on Your Floor." Our friends had to leave after the main show, (sorry you missed the best part, guys!) but it was worth waiting for. Other standouts included "Glad to See You Go," "Walk Away," and "The Luckiest Man." All of these awesome songs came from their 2005 debut, Ways Not to Lose and Loaded, their new album.

Pieta Brown opened for the brothers, and she played your typical "girl with a guitar" fare; it was good but not especially unique.

We loved you, Wood Brothers! Please come back soon!

Fear of Fatness Rears Its Ugly Head

2008-05-07T17:01:00.004-04:00

I had the following, horrifying thought today while doing my strength training routine at the gym: "Hmm...I feel like doing cardio. I should stay and do cardio after I finish." I didn't actually have the time to follow-thru, but just the thought marks a shift in attitude that I'm not ready for. Am I going to become one of those insane annoying folks who enjoy exercising?

This would be entirely unprecedented, from a dedicated couch-potato. But I've noticed that when I go work out, I end up enjoying it no matter how difficult it was to actually make it out the door in the first place. Possibly this is all due to the rush of endorphins that I'm not used to yet or something, but I'm hoping it stays this way because if I know me, I won't make it back to the gym once it starts becoming horrible, no matter what the health benefits.

And believe me I need the motivation. I keep noticing things about my body, subtle shifts probably not noticeable to the general public (or even my close friends) but things I focus on nevertheless. I'm talking here about dimpled skin on the thighs, and the inability to suck my tummy in completely anymore. Is this just what happens to thirty-somethings? If I keep at it with the exercising, and also manage to cut out snacking and eat healthier in general, can I control this? I've got to admit I'm a little out of my comfort zone here...never having been one of those girls who worried about getting fat. Now I feel like it's all I think about.

I would actually prefer to not be motivated as much by body-image issues. I would like to tell you that what really motivates me is being more in tune with my body, feeling more healthy in general. Really, though, I'm just as vain as the next person and what actually motivates me is what my body looks like, and what may happen if I just "let it go," as if it would be the end of my life as I know it if I gained a few pounds. I know rationally that it doesn't matter that much...people will still love and respect me if I'm not skinny, but I feel afraid that I won't be able to love and respect myself.

Gadget Envy

2008-05-03T15:52:00.002-04:00

I want the Kindle. Yes, I know it's $400 and I know that you can't improve upon the book (an already perfect product) but nevertheless, I drool when I see it. Every time I go to Amazon.com and am bombarded with their ubiquitous advertising for it, I take a peek. Not just a peek, really. I read the reviews, I imagine what it would be like to have a device where I could read some 90,000 books with just one little device, and download blogs and newspapers as well.

I know it's silly...but there's gadget envy for you, I guess. I don't need the Kindle. I would probably miss the feeling and smell of real paper, and the familiar heft of an old-fashioned book in my hands anyway. Is this just brilliant marketing...or is it really a must-have product that will truly change my life? The world may never know, considering that on my grad-student pay I will never be able to justify such a purchase, leaving me free to consider it in the abstract.

However, if any of you have the Kindle I'd love to hear what you think!

Godless Heathens

2008-04-28T17:17:00.003-04:00

This article from WaPo describes a soldier who has been discriminated against in the U.S. Army because he is an out-of-the-closet atheist in a largely Christian institution. As a result he has filed a lawsuit naming the Secretary of Defense Robert Gates for harassment. He says he has been called immoral and a devil worshiper, among other things since his atheism has become common knowledge.

This is wrong on several levels. First of all, the U.S. Army is obviously a government institution, and therefore shouldn't be supporting any religion at all (that whole separation of church & state thing), but as we all know is largely Christian. Technically, an Army Chaplain can help you no matter what your religion, but I think it is rare to find one that can truly understand another religion's ways. (It's been awhile since I was a soldier myself, and I thankfully did not experience these struggles so I may be talking out of my hat on this one.)

The point I really want to talk about here, though, is the idea of this soldier being branded as "immoral" because he is an atheist - because he is without God. I personally take offense to these kinds of comments because I, too, am an atheist and yet in no way am I immoral (although I certainly do not claim that I always do the right thing...I just mean that in general I view myself as a moral person.) I know many atheists and what I know of them is that they are kind and courteous and cognizant of moral rights and wrongs. In fact, many of the Christians we all hear about every day are hypocritical, intolerant, dogmatic, and extremely judgmental. Obviously it's not a representative sample, but these words do not at all describe the atheists I am aware of.

I suppose the central question here is: "What does it mean to be moral or immoral?" Does being a moral person require having faith in God (particularly the Christian God) or believing that all others who do not accept this doctrine will burn in the eternal fires of hell? Obviously I think that's ridiculous. For me, being a moral person means living life free of intolerance and narrow-minded judgments of others about whom we know nothing save for their religious views. It means being aware and taking care of those around us that need our help; it means living in genuine kindness and respect for other people, for animals, for the world around us. I fail to see how faith in God is required for this.

Frankly, I see it as less moral to live morally because of a belief that God will punish you if you don't. Isn't it more virtuous to live this way because of intrinsic motivation, such as that you believe it is the right thing to do, than to do it out of self-absorbed fear that otherwise you'll be damned to hell?

Daring and Dangerous

2008-04-26T11:35:00.003-04:00

This article from the Washington Post has got me thinking. It discusses "The Daring Book for Girls" and "The Dangerous Book for Boys," a pair of books that are old-fashioned, kitchy fun for both sexes. From the article,

But the books also serve as a reminder that we still haven't figured out what gender equality means or how to prepare kids to live it in the world they will assume. "Dangerous" limits boys to tasks, ideas and ways of being associated with boyhood, neglecting knowledge about girlhood that would serve them well as men working and raising children alongside women. "Daring," on the other hand, urges girls to learn both female and male skills and lore -- a good thing for advancement into what is still a man's world, but dangerously close to an endorsement of the Superwoman idea.

Although I am of course a huge proponent of children reading for pleasure, especially in these times when it seems many of them don't see reading as a leisure activity anymore, but a chore, I do think children's books should offer readers something valuable they can take with them. Such as choices for their identities and their futures that aren't already so narrowly confined. It's true that "Daring" has choices for girls that include things more "traditionally" male, but "Dangerous" doesn't do the same for the boys. I think this mirrors our society's advances (and lack thereof). Feminists and women who refuse to title themselves thus have insisted for decades now that their daughters can be anything they want to be, from a teacher to a doctor, lawyer, engineer, or scientist. But who tells boys they, too can be preschool teachers, or nurses? In fact, when a male does enter nursing as a career, he is generally referred to always thereafter as a "male nurse," as though he were somehow different than a female one in some important way.

Similarly, many people insist that their daughters not wear pink as babies or have their nurseries decorated in pink, so as not to confine them to this ultra-feminine identity before they are old enough to even know who they are. But these same people still refuse to dress their boys in pink, leaving pink still to be only appropriate for "the fairer sex." And although girls have much more broad clothing choices now, boys are still confined to pants and shorts. Why did it become that someone decided at some point that girls should branch out into more male clothing styles while leaving boys boxed in to what they already had?

I submit that leaving gender inequality and strictly defined gender identities behind will open up doors for everyone. Who will not benefit from having double the choices available to them, in play, in work, in clothes, interests, hobbies, friends, career options? Boys and girls alike should have all these options available to choose from. Why not let a boy wear a skirt? A girl play football or enjoy NASCAR? Let's not be afraid to let our children do non-gender-traditional activities!

It is my fervent hope that one day we will reach a point where boys grow up to be men who respect women as equals and who are not afraid to be compared to them. Maybe in this world there will be family leave for dads and equal pay across the sexes, making it possible for grown-up men and women to also have double the choices available to them. But why not start as kids?

The Ugly Underbelly of Online Discussion

2008-04-22T08:08:00.004-04:00

I enjoy participating in online discussion forums. There are some that I often post in (such as Ilounge.com) and others where I just lurk (such as Slashdot.org). It gives me opportunities to stay current on things I'm interested in; technology, news, politics, etc. One of the more frivolous forums where I had been relatively active until recently, Get Organized Now, finally pissed me off to the point where I decided to tell the whole world (my 16 page visitors per month) about it.

So here's the background. This particular forum was never my absolute favorite, because it's mostly (apparently) populated by middle-aged women with concerns not at all similar to my own, mostly including keeping DH (that's shorthand for Dear Husband, for the uninitiated) happy and the children fed and off to school, etc. In addition to having a whole different set of responsibilities than I have, the population at this forum is clearly of a different SES and if they knew me in real-life they wouldn't have been quite so accepting, I am sure. For instance, I remember vividly the day I stumbled onto a thread about things that people considered "luxuries" versus "necessities." This thread was incredibly long, and dozens of people responded within minutes to say ridiculous things such as "Well, my Olympic-sized swimming pool is just a luxury but my 2-car garage and my front-loading washer & dryer are absolute necessities! Couldn't live without them!"

Now, believe me I realize I live a relatively privileged life but - 2-car garage? washer & dryer? Are you kidding me?!? These things are not necessities. I have not had a garage in my entire adult life - shit, I'm lucky my jalopy even still runs! And as for a washer & dryer - you mean these are available in one's home?

However, I decided to overlook this obvious divide in life circumstances, as I was going thru a real crisis in my "office" (read: part of room that contains my desk). It was a total mess and I was unable to focus in the clutter. I am a grad student and it is necessary for me to actually be able to locate my computer in order to get any work done, and the mess was starting to trickle (avalanche) into the kitchen. So I started visiting this forum in order to get support and ideas for how to tackle this monster, and everything was great at first. Several moderators and regular posters came out to welcome me and even congratulate me on deciding to commence this monumental task, of ridding my office of what probably amounts to several tons of litter, detritus, flotsam & jetsam, and the like.

I thought I had found a new home...ahh...an organizational haven, a place where people would give me wonderful advice and help me stay motivated. In the short-term, this was fantastic and I really got a lot out of the community. But as I started to read many of the threads and become more familiar with the moderators and regular posters, I started noticing things that at first just annoyed me a little. For instance, the first thing was just that when someone would post a question asking for advice on choosing, say, a filing system, if anyone had the audacity to post a link to some other website the moderators would go in and edit the post, removing the offensive link. So, okay...that's annoying but not necessarily a deal-breaker. Then I realize it's not just links, this editing will happen when a product is even so much as mentioned that isn't sold on their site.

This got me really angry. Given that the whole purpose of a discussion forum is to engage discussion it doesn't really make sense to monitor the posts quite so aggressively! I mean, if you don't really want people to engage in a free discussion on your boards, then don't host the boards. It's ridiculous.

Obviously I am well aware that this site isn't the only one that operates in this fashion. Probably most of the sites that exist mainly as a sales tool likely have rules about links. But even so much as mentioning a product that isn't even competing with anything on your site? That's just silly.
If you just want to sell products then sell products. If you want to truly be a place where people can congregate, even if it's only to be rich together and tell stories about how your stainless-steel appliances just don't live up to your expectations, then lay off and allow a free discussion.

Do you know of a great forum to share? Have a horror story of your own? Leave a comment! It's free and it'll make you a better person!

Customer Service: The Ups & Downs

2008-04-17T13:29:00.002-04:00

I hate calling customer service. Especially for big evil corporations with more money than good sense. In general, if I have a problem with a product and make the call, I first must wait on hold for an eternity while a computerized voice reminds me intermittently (in between bars of painful-to-the-ears muzak versions of pop ditties that weren't that good in their original form) how important my call is to them. Also, they will answer my call in the order in which it was received and could I have my order number at the ready so as not to waste any of their precious time once they deign to pick up the line?

Recently I was forced to call Samsung in order to get a replacement for a product I ordered that no longer worked. The original call took the route described above before a snarly gentleman took my call, argued with me about my product, and promptly disconnected me. The second time I called I was routed to a call center somewhere no doubt very far away and the person I spoke to had a heavy accent that was difficult to understand. However this was a short-lived problem as I was immediately disconnected once again.

So, the faulty gadget sat on my desk for several months after this because I had decided it wasn't worth a $40 item to call them again. I gave you the short version but understand that in reality this was incredibly annoying. Eventually I did summon the courage to give them one last call, which turned into 2 last calls, and they did finally agree to let me send them the part, which I did.

Samsung is no better or worse than many of the other companies I've dealt with. For the few that you can get past the computer and talk to a living, breathing, human - that interaction is no more satisfying than the robotic voice was. The person on the other end will insist they haven't the power to help you with anything, no matter how trivial. All they can do is apologize.

The whole point of this drawn-out story is to simply illustrate one of the many painful interactions I have had with customer service departments so that I can congratulate a couple of others with whom I've had awesome customer service interactions.

The following companies almost always have humans pick up the line very quickly, and without fail, the person you end up speaking to is friendly, upbeat, and willing to help in whatever way they can.

So...the envelope please...and the highly coveted Andie Murray Pleasant Customer Service Awards go to...Netflix and Progressive Insurance! That's right, a couple of giant corporations who worship the bottom line and have enough customers that they can afford to treat us like numbers, but they choose not to. I have had reason to call both these companies on several occasions and have always received fast, top-notch service from a real live person. So, thank you to both.

Do you have customer service horror stories or pats-on-the-back for your favorite company? Leave a comment. My audience (aka myself) will appreciate it!

My Sorry Attempts at a Healthy Lifestyle

2008-04-14T08:51:00.004-04:00

As a kid I never gave too much thought to how incredibly unhealthy my lifestyle was. Once I was old enough to get out of mamma's house I immediately began a diet completely devoid of vegetables and fruits, dedicated my life to a schedule that included at least 10 hours of sleeping each night, and completely eschewed any form of intentional exercise. As a young college freshman I didn't have a car, so I actually did incorporate a fair bit of movement into my lifestyle in order to support my habits both of going anywhere off campus and attending dance clubs far too regularly. But, no gym-going, sports, or physical activities of any kind.

I was able to live this way because I was one of the lucky winners of the genetic lottery. I was one of those women who could eat whatever she wanted and continue to weigh in at around 100 pounds. My friends who had to diet were jealous, people who didn't know me well often assumed I had an eating disorder. The women in my family were fond of informing me that I would have to make changes because my metabolism would screech to a halt as soon as I turned 30. "Hah!" I scoffed, considering 30 to be far too old to even consider in my plans as an impulsive teenager. After all, 30 year old women are married and sexless and harried and frazzled because they have such things as mortgages, children, and old age right around the corner. I was 18, not even close. Couldn't even imagine being that old.

Now I'm past 30 and although I suffer from no mortgage, children, or impending old age, I have begun to notice that my body doesn't work the same way it did 10 years ago. It's a sad realization, actually. I am still quite thin, but no longer shaped the same, if you get what I mean. Gone are the mysteriously taut abs and inexplicably toned arms. I have begun to resemble one of those starving children that try to elicit our attention on TV ads for the Christian Children's Fund, skinny extremities and pot-belly bulging forth from fashionably low-slung jeans. I'm really only a year or two away from muffin tops all around if I continue in this fashion.

So...I have decided to embark upon a healthier lifestyle! This includes such things as eating more fruits & vegetables and fewer "foods" that are actually devoid of any nutrients but full of calories & fat. This part of the lifestyle change isn't that difficult because I enjoy cooking and different kinds of food, so cooking healthier options is actually kind of fun. Also, I was never the sort of person who ate emotionally or very often, so I don't have to deal with trying to force myself to not eat. I only have to change what I eat.

Now, the hard part. The moving. The getting my ass off the couch. The...the...(ugh)...exercise. Now I should start by mentioning that I've been regularly practicing yoga for several years. (Well, only regularly for the last year or so, but intermittently for long before.) But that's it. I don't lift weights and you certainly won't catch me on a stairmaster. I don't have the patience for the way time stretches to infinity when one is riding a stairmaster. You don't believe me? Try it. You set the timer for 20 minutes, and what feels like 2 days later you're still there, climbing, huffing & puffing, wishing you could just die...when you look down and you still have 12 minutes to go. No thanks.

So yesterday I went running, for the first time in ages. That was a mistake. Running, clearly, is for people who are in shape. Not weaklings such as myself. The whole episode lasted no longer than about 20 minutes but my lungs hurt, my legs hurt, and I felt like I a complete failure when I had to stop and walk about every 5 minutes. I don't want to give up but there must be a better way!

But I have to do something. I don't want to feel like my body just doesn't work right anymore. I want to feel strong and youthful again. Hell, as shallow as this is, I want to look strong & youthful again. I want to feel at home in my body, like I belong here. Not as if some invalid has moved in and set up shop. So, I need to find some way to do cardio that isn't horrible. Does such a thing exist? There are pros and cons to every option, I think. Running is easy, affordable, and I can do it on my own schedule. But it sucks. And here in New York I don't consider outdoor activity to be an option in the winter months. (I know you hardcore runners don't agree, but let's face it...you're all crazy.) Powersculpt and other cardio group classes at gyms are costly, run on someone else's schedule, and inconveniently located for the most part (as in, not in my living room) but more fun and more motivating than going it alone. Also, I run the very real risk of making a complete ass of myself in front of others when I fall out after the first 10 minutes with heart palpitations and dizzy spells.

So what am I supposed to do? What kind of cardio can I stick with? How often, and how long, can I stick with it? Can I do this at all? Do I have the cajones to even give it a fair shot? These are my thoughts. So I ask you, dear reader(s), what are your stories? Do you have words of advice or hilarious anecdotes about your own struggles with health? Let's be motivated together. Or at the very least, you can offer your supportive words while mercilessly making fun of my struggles behind my back. I'll try to keep you updated.

The Controversy of the Pregnant Man

2008-04-11T18:23:00.003-04:00

Today I want to talk about the pregnant man. Thomas Beattie was born a woman named Tracy but eventually decided that he was not a woman and therefore no longer comfortable in a woman's body. He had breast removal surgery and went on hormone therapy to begin the change, but he knew that he wanted children one day and kept his reproductive organs intact for this purpose. His wife of 10 years is unable to have children so it seemed perfectly naturally for the couple to inseminate Thomas.

I was reading about this on a news website the other day and began reading the comments posted beneath the article. I was outraged to read such things as "It's disgusting" and "What a fag." This is such unfair criticism! These comments don't even further the discourse but blunt the discussion by dismissing the whole situation. This is cruel and short-sighted. This is not the last time this will happen, people! I think that those of you are so narrow-minded as to be unable to accept a new "normal" are in for a real shock in the years to come.

As Thomas so eloquently put it, the desire to have children is not a female or male desire, it is a human desire. Many people of both (any) genders and many sexual orientations/identities hope to have children one day. I find it ironic that traditionally gendered heterosexuals with no moral compass whatsoever can have as many children as they like while people like the Beatties are subject to such criticism for this same desire when there is virtually no evidence that they will not be wonderful parents.

I would also like to address the less outrageous but still bothersome tendency of people to insist on referring to Thomas as "she" or "she-he" or some other pronoun than "he". Thomas chose to become a man and identifies as a man, even while pregnant. (This from the horse's mouth, see the Oprah show.) He and his wife say that he will be the child's father and his wife will be the child's mother, as with any other "normal" family. All of this indicates that we should be referring to Thomas as "he." Whatever he was in the past, he is now a man. Let's respect his decision and try to keep the pronouns consistent.

I am certain that if I ever reach a point where more people than I can count on one hand read this blog, this post will elicit comments. I ask not that you agree with me, but that you be respectful.

The Feminist Conflict

2008-04-04T23:36:00.002-04:00

Sorry for the long, long intermission. I know it's been nearly 2 years since I posted. I want to resurrect this tiny little blog, though. So please, read on. And if you are one of the lucky 1 or 2 readers, please comment!

Here's what I came to say:

I am a feminist. It's an important part of my identity, one that I don't take lightly. For those of you who are misinformed about feminism (and there are many of you out there!), feminism is not simply concerned with the trials of women. Women's studies programs spend entire semesters discussing such issues as racial oppression, economic oppression, heterosexism, xenophobia, and environmental justice issues. These things are intrinsically related and really inseperable from sexism. They operate together and modern feminists explore them together, as interconnected.

Here's the rub. As an educated white heterosexual woman I don't really belong to any groups other than the dominant group. So when I am surrounded with like-minded feminists and the stories of their struggles not simply with sexism but racism, poverty, and ethnic identity and the beauty ideals that inevitably tag along, I sometimes feel superfluous. As though I have nothing to contribute to the conversation. This feeling, of course, goes against everything I pay lip service to when I insist that everyone's experience is valid as their own true experience, and we can all learn from each other's stories. Somehow my stories just don't pack the same emotional punch. I can never truly know what's it like to be black, Asian-American, lesbian, intersexed, or anything other than what I am. So does that make my experience somehow less useful in the feminist discourse? Am I still "qualified" to talk about oppression as though I know of what I speak?

Also, many of my friends and all of my family do not identify as feminist, and actually think feminism is an evil in the world. So I feel like I'm just all wrong. I'm always either defending feminism to non-feminists or feeling left out of the feminist community.

Is anybody out there with similar struggles of in-group/out-group inclusion issues? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

A Rant on Public Schooling

2006-07-07T22:37:00.000-04:00

Lately I've become more and more concerned about the state of our public education system. The standardized testing craze, it seems to me, is actually managing to make children less interested in learning and teachers less interested in teaching.

I think the biggest problem is the fact that school funding is tied to test scores. As if it weren't bad enough to just have funding tied to local property values! Now schools get money if and only if their kids improve - now, forgive me...but doesn't it seem like the underachieving schools could use some funding?

Here's another problem. The tests focus on math and reading skills. Not on history, or science, or any of the other important things that are now getting pushed to the side in order to focus on testable skills. At some schools, children aren't even attending science classes because they need those class periods to get extra help in math and reading. These children are missing out on science! The scientific method, the process of answering questions and learning for the sake of knowledge, will be foreign to them! Isn't this a problem? Aren't we sending ill-educated children out into the world to become ill-educated adults?

Further, if our schools are doing nothing but drilling for tests, aren't the students doomed to chronic boredom? Are we at risk of alienating our children from curiosity? I think this is a real possibility - an entire generation of people bored with the pursuit of knowledge. As a result, they will not pursue knowledge. They will settle for the status quo. This is not acceptable!

I do not have children, but I am a huge supporter of the public school system. I would want my children to go to school in a place where they could be surrounded by people different than themselves, who come from different ethnic backgrounds, speak different languages, have different customs, eat different foods, and live in different social and economic circles than they do. This is not possible at private schools. However, it doesn't seem to be possible to get a quality education at a public school anymore. What's the solution? How do you prepare a child for college and a successful life while also exposing them to a diverse sample of the real world?

I don't have any answers here; just questions. If you have the answer, I'd love to hear it.

Remembering the Mix Tape

2006-04-23T17:38:00.000-04:00

Today I want to talk about that all-important hobby of yesteryear; the mix tape. Remember those? Anyone under the age of about 25 has no memory of this era, but for me and many of my peers, it was a coveted gift.

Youngsters who only know cds may think, "Now we make mix cds - what's the big deal? It's easier, faster, and doesn't unravel after the 5th rewind." To that I say, "It is a big deal! The process has been sterilized, stripped of all the painstaking nuances that made it such a gift in the first place."

At the age of around 11, I my favorite hobby was to spend countless hours in my bedroom, prostrate in front of my "boom box" with one index finger on "record" and the other on "pause", waiting for that crucial 2 seconds of blank space to seperate the songs. If I was recording straight from the radio it was even more sensitive work, requiring anticipating the very second the DJ would stop talking over the intro, and again when he would come on over the outro. This was an extremely delicate operation.

Once I had filled both sides of the tape, the work was still not done. Summoning my very best penmanship, it was time to write out the track list. Including the name of the song, artist, year, and running time; this process took forever. Scratch outs and white-out were definitely unacceptable, so a mis-spelling meant trashing the list and starting all over again. It could take hours to get the track list perfect.

In modern times giving the gift of music means only inserting a cd and clicking "burn". Print out the track list and it's done. You could make 30 of these in a day. So, I ask you, where is the gift in this? There is no more romance in the act, no more work involved.

Although the advancement of music technology has increased sound quality, it has robbed us of the magic of the mix tape. I continue to make mix cds for my friends, but it's less of a process, and therefore less of a gift.

Does anyone out there agree with me? Or not? Leave a comment!

Am I Irritable or Are You Annoying?

2005-09-29T12:51:00.000-04:00

Seriously, which is it? I realized yesterday that I am either surrounded by the most annoying people in the free world, or I am seriously irritable and intolerant. Here are a few of my favorite examples.

1. At the bookstore where I work, people often walk up to the counter, where I greet them with "Hello" or "How can I help you?" or some other such nicety. Many (rude) people reply to my friendliness with a gruff announcement of a book title, so that the exchange goes like this:
"Hi, how are you?"
"1776!" (a bestselling book title by David McCullough)
So this is nonsensical and rude, right? If I greet you, don't just throw inarticulate demands at me! Would it really take that much more time to stop and say hello? No, it wouldn't. I know this because I am more inclined to hurry if I like you! So be nice, people.

2. People who talk during class. This irritates the crap out of me. If you need a pencil, fine. Ask me for a pencil. But once I give it to you, SHUT THE HELL UP! This is not social hour. I don't care where you lost your pencil and I don't care that you just had it ten minutes ago. I care about what the professor is saying because that's what I will be tested on later. So shut up and don't talk to me during class.

3. People who talk to me while I'm wearing headphones. If I am wearing headphones, it's a pretty good indication that I am listening to music. If I am not listening to music, then I am wearing them specifically so THAT YOU WON'T TALK TO ME. Take the hint. Leave me alone.

4. People who talk to me while I am engaged in any activity at all. Yesterday I was in the library studying. It's set up so that there are 4 chairs around each table. I was sitting in a chair around a table where no one else was sitting. This girl comes up to me and asks if it is okay if she sits there. "Sure," I say, assuming she means she will sit there and study and be quiet.
At first, I am happy and able to go about my business since she is in fact leaving me alone. Eventually I finished the chapter and decided to work on a logic puzzle to pass the time. So I put on my headphones and started the music as well. Here's where the fun starts. This girl gets up, comes over to my chair, kneels on the ground with her arms folded on my arm rest (I swear this is true! I couldn't make this up!) and puts her chin practically in my lap. Then she says something to me (I'm not sure what since I was making a huge show of sighing in exasperation while turning my music off). So I say, "What?" and she says sweetly "Whatcha doin? Is that a puzzle? How do you play? Is it fun?" I am not kidding! This happened to me yesterday! Is she one of the most annoying people in the world, or was I unreasonably irritated?

Seriously, which is it?

Chasing Softballs

2005-08-11T13:00:00.000-04:00

I am the laziest person I know. Seriously. During the summer months, it takes all the energy I have to lie down and sweat. My normal routine when I get home from work is to sit somewhere and involve myself in some activity that requires no physical effort on my part. Napping is a favorite.

Yesterday, however, against my better judgment I was convinced to not only attend – but also participate in – a softball game. I have not played softball (or any ball) since grade school and certainly did not expect to be an incredible sportsman, given my aversion to physical activity – and, let’s face it – the outdoors. Shopping is more my sport, really. But even I was surprised to learn that I am so bad at the game. How hard can it be, I thought, you hit a ball, run around the bases, anybody can do it. Well, I was in for a special kind of education, let me tell you.

I was especially shocked to find that I am sore today, especially considering the level of work I put into avoiding exertion during the game. Judging by the current state of my muscles one would think I had run a marathon or perhaps competed in the “World’s Strongest Man” contest, where large men in small clothes pull ridiculous objects, for example, 18-wheeelers, for several dozen feet to determine who the strongest man is. I had done nothing remotely so vigorous, however. Mostly I stood on the far side of the outfield, trying my best to look prepared with my knees bent and a glove on, thinking “please don’t throw the ball at me…anybody but me…just let me remain invisible.” I never even once caught a ball that came my way. Generally I would lunge for it, miss – usually by several feet – and then chase after it across the street, under a car, through more humiliation than I can usually manage in an entire day, and bring it back for another round. I guess it was all that chasing that wore me out…but boy do I need an Advil.

Not only was I to learn my shortcomings as a catcher, it turned out, but also to be made aware that I am completely incapable of throwing a ball. I do not throw like a girl. I throw like someone in the midst of an epileptic fit. I can hear my husband telling me “okay, left foot forward, elbow up, now twist your body, snap your wrist” and while trying desperately to do what he tells me I end up in a bizarre seizure dance. The ball generally ends up about four feet in front of me. It seems to mock me from the ground.

I was glad when this adventure was over, and I’m equally glad to be back in my comfort zone with my ass in a chair. Until next time, you know where to find me.

I Was An Ugly Child

2005-07-25T20:00:00.000-04:00

I was an ugly child. I didn’t know or care one way or the other, but I’ve seen the proof in pictures. Not just an average child who hadn’t yet developed a style, but a strange androgynous- looking creature who, it appeared, had no hope of ever becoming an attractive member of society. I was convinced I was supposed to have been born a boy, so I did everything I could to look like one. Unfortunately, as it turns out, most of us are better off sticking with whatever gender we’re born with.

I started having my hair cut very short as a young child. In about the second grade my long blonde locks were shorn forever, replaced by a bizarre sort of helmet that my mother called a “pixie” (I imagine she harbored fantasies of my parading around with lace-hemmed ankle socks and mary-janes to accessorize the new look) – and I called a “boy haircut” (I can assure you my vision of this haircut did not involve any accessories). I remember this haircut vividly, my excitement as the lady’s hands whooshed around my head rapidly, snipping here, whacking there, until I was left with just a few short inches of hair that would never be deemed “adorable” or “cute”, or worse – “lovely”. I was ecstatic about the prospect of putting on a pair of worn jeans and pretending I was a boy. At last, I could at least pretend! Then, to my horror, (and – no doubt, my mother’s glee) this evil child-hating stylist produced from out of nowhere that most dreaded of instruments – the curling iron. I remember shrinking in fear from what I knew would ruin whatever tousled boyishness I had acquired.

Because I was raised under the steadfast rule of “children should be seen and not heard” I sat quietly while she ruined the genius boy creation I had awaited for as long as I could remember, and replaced it with a giant anchorwoman-type bouffant the likes of which I had never seen on a small child, particularly not a boy. I kept my tears in check only until I reached my mother, then wailed great sobs of frustration while my little sister laughed hysterically. Between my mother’s irritated “stop making a scene, you can get it wet later; it’ll be fine” and my sister’s hyena-like howls of pure joy at my expense, I couldn’t imagine that anything would ever be fine again.

Hoping for the gender gods to grant me this wish, I got it wet and let it dry, and miraculously, everything was fine. The bouffant settled down and transformed itself into a sort of crazy unkempt boyish hairstyle that I could definitely live with. All I wanted, remember, was to look like a boy. Looking ugly didn’t concern me even a little.

A few days later, as I was sitting outside at recess, someone actually wandered by and inquired, “Are you a boy or a girl?” Vindication, at last!